eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize