i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
