arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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