Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
