You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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