how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize