I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i now understand why vodka
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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