At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
