I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
