This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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