3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
