i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
