The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize