I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
