while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
