he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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