That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
