remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
