Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
