grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
