OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
