Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i've created a new STD.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
