so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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