Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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