Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
