i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
