Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
