escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
third nipple confirmed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
