OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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