The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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