I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
