So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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