I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
