Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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