The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
