I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize