my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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