Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
