his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
