David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
