i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
