i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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