And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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