Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
