I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i've created a new STD.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize