i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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