I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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