she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
