my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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