i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
