margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize