You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
