Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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