I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
