Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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