walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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