To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
